ETTING   OME   O   LFANDRA

---

Mithent's Confused Interdimensional Travels part 9

After several minutes of amazed staring at the blizzard, followed by two hours of sitting idly and doodling in the dirt, and five further hours of pacing back and forwards aimlessly, the group walk back down the Purple Brick Road to a place where the blizzard doesn't drown out their conversations.

"That darn blizzard never stops!" comments Bob.

"Oh, it does, at dawn each day, for fifteen minutes," corrects Min Tan, "I used to work as a tour guide for the Blizzard area."

After shaking his head to get rid of the image of a chainsaw-wielding psychopath tour guide, Mithent asks, "So, shall we sleep here tonight? It's dark already, and pacing for five hours has left me just a bit tired."

Frank snores.

   *   *   *

The party wake up to the sound of a chainsaw.

Bob takes off his novelty hat and picks a streamer out of his straw. "Hey, keep it down! I drunk, uh, a bit too much of that ale!"

Mithent waves his canary wings surrepitiously, and Bob grows a third ear.

"Idiot," mutters the secretary. "Can't even cure a hangover..."

Frank yawns, and is then suddenly alert and looking fierce as ever. That is, about as fierce as Barney the Purple Dinosaur. "Huh? Where'd that party come from? Why wasn't I invited? Huh? Huh?"

The other four look at each other and shrug. Toronto barks.

"I'd forgotten all about Toronto," comments Mithent idly. "Good job he's still here, 'cos we need him, as well as the feelers we haven't got yet."

The secretary edges closer to Mithent. "We don't want all of Schnozz to know! Anyway, I was thinking. Didn't that pamphlet say that we might fall into bottomless pits?"

"Well, yes, but that could be talking about the mountains of plot holes." Boom-boom.

Min Tan suddenly exclaims, "We must hurry! The Blizzard will start again in ten minutes!" With that the entire group drop the mysterious party equipment and run along the Purple Brick Road, reaching the area of the Blizzard just in time. This is obvious, since the irritating theme music comes back for a loud reprise.

o/ We're off to see the Blizzard, the Unpleasant Blizzard of Schnozz.
If ever an unpleasant storm there was,
The Blizzard of Schnozz is one because,
Because because because because because!
Because of the snow and ice that is spun!
We're off to see the Blizzard, the Unpleasant Blizzard of Schnozz! o/

"I hate the person who wrote that as much as I hate giant blueberries," muses Min Tan.

Just then, the Blizzard begins to blow, extremely abruptly. Curiously, a piece of paper also flutters in the blizzard, and gets stuck to Mithent's snout - er, beak. The dragon-canary peels the wet paper off.

"The ink's run, but I think it says, 'Who has my comb?'" he yells.

A booming voice emerges from out of the blizzard. "Immensely foolish being! The note says, 'Why have you come?'"

"Sorry!" shouts back Mithent, without a hint of sarcasm.

"We want to go home!" cries the secretary.

"I want to be free of my curse of being a scarecrow!" is Bob's plea.

"I want to stop trying to be fierce!" Frank squeaks.

"I want sun-tan lotion!" demands Min Tan.

The disembodied voice comes back. "I will grant the first three wishes if you tickle the Slightly Unpleasant Tax Collector of the South-West! But I can only grant three wishes per strange and random deed I send you on! To obtain sun-tan lotion, you must also bring me a balloon!"

"Why do you want a balloon?!" yells Min Tan.

"That is for me to know and you to never find out, so nyah!" replies the voice.

With that, the group stagger out of the Blizzard and give it very odd looks while they walk in a generally south-westerly direction.