ETTING   OME   O   LFANDRA

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Mithent's Confused Interdimensional Travels part 8

Meanwhile, the others escape from the field in a cloud of pollen and start walking along the Purple Brick Road again.

"Hey - anyone know what happened to Bob?" asks Min Tan.

"Probably scaring the crows," comments the secretary flippantly.

Just then, Frank comes round a bend in the road and stops, panting, at Min Tan's feet. "I - had to leave - Bob behind. He couldn't - walk!"

"I'm not going back for him in that field." states the secretary.

"What a horrible fate, to spend the rest of your life sneezing. Oh, well." observes Mithent, and carries on down the road.

   *   *   *

Shortly afterwards, a giant blueberry rolls across the path, directly behind a poor helpless ant.

Min Tan looks daggers at the blueberry. "Grr! Giant blueberry! You're in for it now, you evil, despicable, abhorrent, unpleasant, mean, cruel and... and..."

"Blue!" suggests Frank.

"Disorganised!" adds Mithent.

Min Tan takes no notice. "and... generally fairly nasty thing! I'm gonna cut you into little tiny pieces with my chainsaw and feed you to the bird and then I'm going to -"

The secretary interrupts. "Well, it's already well out of the way by now."

"Aarh! I'll just go and chase it!" With that, Min Tan goes running off after the blueberry. The others simply sit there.

   *   *   *

A few minutes later, Min Tan returns holding the ant in his hand and appearing much calmer, if somewhat covered in blueberry juice.

"Thankee!" squeaks the ant.

"I never knew ants squeaked." muses Mithent.

The secretary adds, "Or had bad grammar. That should be 'thank you', ant."

The ant appears to show no expression. This could be, however, just because he is so small. "Well, huh. Anyway, Min Tan said y'all had a friend in that ole' field of rapeseed back there. My colony'll get him back for you for saving my life."

"Oh, *thank* you," says the secretary.

The ant merely says, "Knew yer'd be pleased!", apparently not understanding sarcasm, and runs down Min Tan's arm and leg to the ground, then off into the bushes.

Shortly afterwards, a troupe of a few hundred ants set off towards the field.

  *   *   *

It is dusk - or what passes for dusk in Schnozz, anyway, even though the surrounding area merely takes on a bluish tinge - when the ants return with Bob, and immediately leave. The ants, that is.

"Boy, am I glad you see you lot." states Bob. "Thought I was a gonner back there."

"How could you die if you're just a scarecrow?" asks the secretary. "Sneeze your straw out?"

"Well... huh. Remember I'm really a giant three-headed monkey."

"Okay, never mind all that. Good to have you back, Bob." says Mithent hastily.

"I just hope we get to that Blizzard before we run into any more problems." comments Frank.

"I'm pretty sure we will, now." says Mithent encouragingly.

"I'll bet you were pretty sure we wouldn't get sucked into this weird Schnozz place, though, weren't you?" demands the secretary.

"Oh, be quiet, secretary."

"How many times must I tell you, I've got a name! If you signed my contract without ever reading what my name was, it's -"

The group reach the crest of a hill and see below them a massive blizzard going on for miles around. Its violence is so immense that it hurts the ears, necessitating Mithent to pull out earplugs and distribute them to the group. The noise also has the side-effect of making whatever the secretary was trying to say entirely inaudible.

After staring at the blizzard for several minutes, Mithent pulls out a pad, scribbles on it and gives it to the secretary.

'See, I was right about there not being any more problems, eh?'

The secretary glowers.